They’re Just Not That Into You

My best friend recently had a huge interview at an art museum. It was the perfect position for her. After the interview she waited. And waited. And waited some more. After a month of no contact from the museum she assumed that she didn’t get the position. After sending an e-mail to her interviewer and receiving no response she gave up all hope. Its rejection and that arrow straight to the heart can dig deep. How can we forgo being led on by employers and waiting by our telephone when they have no intention of calling? How do you know when they just aren’t that into you?

The first sign is if they are silent after the initial contact. A recruiter might have sent you an e-mail or left you a voice mail expressing their interest and it took a day or two for you to respond. By the time you respond they might have already found someone else. Most likely they sent out a mass e-mail and hundreds of people replied before you. They don’t think you are special and they most likely will never get back to you. If they decide they want you, they have your contact information.

A second sign to watch for is if they have problems scheduling a phone interview. The company probably had recruiters or people from a call center call you and hope to get a hold of you on the first ring. They don’t want to be bothered with a specific time to call you back because they probably have thousands of other candidates they could be calling.

You also want to watch for a delay in post-interview contact. If you stuck out in a hiring manager’s mind then it wouldn’t take him or her weeks to call you back in for a second interview. Most likely the company found someone else, was not wowed enough to remember you, or is so disorganized with getting in touch that you probably don’t want to work there anyway.

Finally be aware of the pace in which they extend an offer. I’m sure you’ve heard a company say that they are excited to have you as a part of their team and “Let’s talk terms!” but does this ever really come true? You shouldn’t have to wait more than three or four days to find out if you are a new member of the company, what day you are starting and when you are going to fill out the paperwork. If you haven’t heard from that company in over a week then you can assume there is no position waiting around with your name on it. If you get this far in the process then look back and see if there were any red flags that you should have noticed sooner.

So you were played. Brush it off and move on. Don’t dwell on it and don’t keep replaying in your head what you did wrong. Spend your time and energy finding the right company and not the ones that obviously could care less about your feelings. Sometimes they are just not that into you.